WHAT ARE TWIN FLAMES
The earliest mention of the Twin Flame concept comes from Aristotle and Plato. Artistotle said “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Whilst Plato referred to Twin Souls as “The One”. Plato went on to reference that the soul is split apart from one ovoid, each half being the twin of the other. Each half is an exact duplicate of the other, with one half assuming a feminine form and the other a masculine. He went on to suggest that we are only born once, as a soul - each soul has a unique pattern and no one can claim this oneness with you except your twin. He referred to this as the Split Apart Theory.
It is said that the two twins go about their lives, developing and learning at their own pace, but when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.
The rest of the information out there begins to get a little bit sketchy - assuming the above is not sketchy enough. Plato’s symposium goes into way more detail, if you care to read it. I am by no means an academic, but it started to bug me that from this original theory had sprouted a thousand others, mentioning stages, patterns, synchronicities and a variety of ideas about the true meaning and purpose of the twin flame connection - none of which could be traced back to the original source. This frustrated me no end.
Whilst much of the information I found resonated, I was intrigued by where it had come from. Since connecting and conversing with my own guides, I have come to understand that most of the information out there is hard to trace to the original source because it has been mostly discovered, shared, rehashed and added upon by a variety of spiritually inclined people, much like myself. Each of us has discovered something along the way that further inspires and informs the collective. It is perhaps not the most coherent way of working and certainly will prove astonishingly frustrating for anyone with an academic leaning who wishes to research the topic thoroughly and get “real” answers - when the answers are coming from spirit, it is up to each individual to find their own truth and to believe and share what they will. We are not academics, we are lightworkers, but this sure makes it hard for our conscious, logic driven minds to accept such ideas.
So I revert back to what I said at the beginning of this post - we must learn to trust our own instincts and guidance first and foremost. For most of us experiencing this twin flame connection, we relate and resonate with much of what is shared broadly within this community. This is my understanding and I will highlight what I have learned directly from my own spiritual counsel.
It is my belief, based on conversations with my spirit guide John, who works with me in Spirit Release Therapy, that the purpose of the Twin Flame connection is to learn unconditional love. Unconditional love begins with self, you cannot give someone else that which you do not already have. Most all of humans exist in relationships born of conditional love - that is to say that we have expectations of our friends, family and significant partners, limits, boundaries and rules.
By nature, our parents are supposed to love us “unconditionally” Your parents, even if well adjusted, had two important roles in your childhood. They loved you and wanted you to know that you were loved, no matter what, unconditionally. It’s an important component of being happy. Except the second role they played in your childhood would interfere with this understanding. Your parents had to prepare you for the real world. They had to teach you to be responsible, respectful, follow the rules of the household so that you would follow the laws of society. All of this is necessary for you to be responsible, take care of yourself, and others, so that you can have a fulfilling life. This meant that you learned to act upon consequences of punishments and rewards. In short, you learned conditional love, acceptance, and approval of yourself in the process. When your parents punished you, your experience of their love was that it was conditional. From this, it is likely your whole experience of love became skewed. Love, acceptance, and approval became something that you had to earn.
So let this sink in for a bit. Your primary relationships, your first bonds with other humans are based on the patterns you learn from your parents. You learn that they love you, and that included in that relationship that they can also be disappointed, frustrated, annoyed, angry and dismissive of you. Your experience of “love” includes all these other emotions. The truth is, we are not born into unconditional love, neither were our parents, or their parents, and despite all of our best intentions as parents - very few of us truly understand the meaning of this thing we call “Unconditional love”.
Even with very kind and loving parents, signals were sent about what they approved of and disapproved of. In emotionally volatile households the negative programming was more pronounced. But even in very peaceful and loving households there are typically forms of withdrawal, signals of “lack of acceptance” which the mind will convert to experiences of rejection.
As a child those neural pathways that conditioned you to measure your worth based on what your parents might think branch out. The pattern extends over time and you become concerned with what your teachers think of you. You seek approval from teachers, adults, relatives and friends. You seek approval and fear rejection from intimate partners so that the rejection circuit in your neural pathway doesn’t fire. Their approval, or disapproval can trigger your internal programming for feeling accepted and approved, or judged, rejected, and not good enough. As adults your programming continues to work on you and your emotions, greatly affecting how you feel about yourself. It works that way until you confront your own beliefs and change them.
The Twin Flame Journey wakes us up to this reality, it is a journey of understanding love, real love, unconditional love - for self. It is about undoing all of that old programming that taught us that love means acceptance and approval from others. It’s kinda complicated I know…
When you consider the truth, according to modern Science, is that children are in “theta” state or a state of hypnosis until the age of around 8, this programming is deeply ingrained in our psyche. We are born pure, but we become a product of our parents, their views, not just on love, but on life and their view of us shapes our view of ourselves, as does everyone elses whom we came into contact with in these tender childhood years.
Some of us were lucky, our parents developed the right balance of loving and teaching to allow us a great sense of self worth and self acceptance, just the right amount to make us feel whole and balanced, confident in our own self. But truly, how many people do you know who are really like that? For most of us, we are riddled with treacherous insecurity, for the more unfortunate, we are filled with a deep self loathing and painful anxiety about not being lovable or good enough. This is further perpetuated by the media, which sells us images of absolute perfection in human form and we as a society are further degrading our sense of self. The rise of social media only compounds this ego based self loathing further, with the masses reaching out in droves for approval from their peers and really, anyone who will throw them a like or a follow. We were taught that to love ourselves, we must seek the approval of others.
This was the greatest lie we were ever fed. The Twin Flame Journey is one of enlightenment because it drives us towards unconditional love of self. It forces us to purge every inner wound, to reprogram our minds, to realise that the only approval that matters if the one from our own inner voice. Considering this, to me, it is the greatest discovery of all mankind. It is fascinating to me too, that the spiritual journey encourages us to go within, into Theta state - meditation, hypnosis, however you refer to it - spiritual practices since the dawn of time have advocated “going within”, Science now teaches us that meditation is merely self hypnosis, a method of connecting with our own higher mind and changing our perception of everything, our feelings, our own reality. This is powerful shit. I am excited that we have finally reached a point in human history where Science can confirm what the spiritualists have been feeding us all along.
Couple this with the recent discoveries in Quantum Physics that confirm we are nothing more than energy vibrating at different frequencies, the concept of a soul has never been more believable. The concept of a twin soul therefore, somehow doesn’t seem too far out there. To an outsider, someone who has not met their twin, looking in at all the various theories, it is easy to understand why they would think it is sheer madness. But to those of us who have been blessed with meeting our twin, we know it to be true - because THEY are our first experience of unconditional love. More often than not, our twins are not our usual type, they don’t always treat us particularly well, they defy every bit of logic and programming we ever held about what a relationship or loving connection should look like. Often, the relationship is insignificant, frequently it is swift and fleeting, but they awaken something deep within us that magnetises us to them.
I can only speak for myself, but when I first met my twin, it made no sense to me at all that I should have such powerful feelings for him. I had known him a short time, met him only a handful of times - which were often awkward and strange, we didn’t appear to have a great deal in common on the surface. My head told me we were completely incompatible and he did absolutely nothing to endear me to him, but there was also something deeply familiar about him that I just could not put my finger on, I was judging him with my ego, not my heart.
When he vanished, I could not forget him. It irritated me so much, I would wrack my brains for some redeeming qualities, it was true the sex had been mind blowing, but really beyond that, there was nothing tangible I could correlate with the depth of my feelings. This above all else seems to be how twins just “know” they have met the other half of their soul - we love them, despite everything, no matter how they behave, or how far they run. I couldn’t call it “love” for a very long time. I resented the powerful and overwhelming feelings he inspired in me because he did not reciprocate and I had been programmed to believe that love didn’t look like that - I had been programmed that love was commitment and approval. Nothing really happened between my twin and I, yet I missed him with a longing I had never felt for another human being. On paper he was a disaster, ticked none of my boxes, and yet still, I loved him with a depth I did not know was possible. I fought it, of course I did. As a rational, level headed woman, I could not give in to the crazy, besides which, he ran, they always run. The separation serves to trigger us - We are shown unconditional love in its truest form. That even when we are given NOTHING in return, when there is no reciprocation, no expectations met, we can still love. Despite this, we long for reciprocation, we are torn between unconditional love and the desperate longing for our twin to meet our needs and come into union with us. It is the most painful paradox, we are loving them sort of unconditionally, because no matter their response we cannot let them go and stop loving, but we still need them to meet our conditions.
Of course, this is only the beginning. Loving them unconditionally is initially very painful, because as I later learned, until we develop that unconditional love for self, they will keep on running. And so begins, the twin flame journey. What I didn’t realise in the beginning, was that in loving him, I WAS loving myself unconditionally, the other half of my soul. It was to be a long journey to find my way to the unconditional love INSIDE of ME, but by golly, it has been the most worthwhile journey I ever did take. It is the pain of longing for them, that drives us to do the inner healing and begin loving ourselves.
In learning to love ourselves, we become free to love others in REAL terms, unconditionally. It is my belief that this is how we evolve into greater, more civilised and compassionate human beings. Energetically speaking, if quantum physics teaches us that we are just energy, vibrating at different levels - then love is the highest vibration of all and the more of us that exist in love, the more loving we become as a collective. It will literally raise the vibration of the planet. When BOTH twins reach a state of unconditional love, when they unite in that love, they inspire us all, towards love, by just being.
If you have found my website and you are in this painful beginning stage of longing for and missing your twin, hating them for running, hating yourself for still wanting them, wishing you could forget them, trust me when I tell you that one day very soon, with a little help, guidance and support, you too will realise it is the greatest blessing of all mankind.